Fifteen holidays together…weekends away, too many too count, weddings, meals
and social outings and now a world cruise for her sixtieth birthday, Sheila was the
envy of all her family and friends. Married to Christopher for thirty-six years,
together for forty-four. They met at sixteen, sweet sixteen and had never been
kissed, he, her first and she his. They thought they were in love instantly; it was
puppy love.

When her father gave out, she was too young to have a boyfriend; her mum
chastised him telling him it was just an adolescent crush. That puppy matured and
grew into a great big affectionate dog and the infatuation that had developed from
physical attraction soon transformed to deep feelings for each other.

At twenty-four they pledged their love openly and began a life of love and laughter.
They had a family, each one’s needs slowly pushing them apart like layers of fillings
in a human sandwich, each filling adding distance. As their family grew in age, so
too did their elders and like adding dressing to that sandwich that makes the bread
soggy when neglected so too was their passion as it was pushed to one side. In
time the fillings fell away and they, the bread, stood, slightly falling and apart.
They began again building their love, taking up new hobbies and pastimes, picking
up new friends and embracing old ones, replacing the old stale bread with fresh
love. They visited family and spent fun days with grandchildren turning their love
back into gold for a few years.

Of late Sheila had begun to question their relationship, was something missing?
She observed her husband, Christopher, although kind and caring, he was acting
strangely and almost seemed like he was hiding something. Was he having an
affair? Was he interested in someone else? Was he happy? She questioned why she
hadn’t noticed it before; she wondered if the cruise was just a cover up. He didn’t
seem interested in the cruise now and she waited to see if he would suggest
someone take his place. She kept a close eye on him.

By the time the cruise came around, some months later, Sheila had learned a
different way to communicate with Christopher. She was very careful not to ask
him direct questions. She listened to him with intent, observing him, never
contradicting him. They enjoyed the cruise but Sheila accepted that there was
change afoot.

Their family were waiting for them when they returned, Sheila observed them all,
listening to the slagging with their dad about how he should be relaxed after a
cruise and not tired. Sheila was quick to answer their questions to cover up her
pain.

A few days later her suspicions were confirmed. She had been through this before
with her dad. How could it happen all over again? The cruise had not been the
grand adventure she had thought it would be. It had been a box ticking exercise as
she had watched the shadow of her husband alongside her.

A heavy weight had been placed on Sheila’s chest as she realised their hourglass
was now glued to a table, with no chance of turning it around. Christoper, her rock
was indeed going away to return only for precious moments. The world around
them would change and memories would fade. Sheila’s love for him would remain
for the man he was. The doctors confirmed what she already knew, “Dementia,” a
word familiar to Sheila. Together, they will face this new journey, hand in hand,
until the very end, together, alone.